Unexpected packing blip

So I am busy packing for 10 days away. Only to realise I don’t actually have enough underwear to get me through this period. We do laundry in the weekends so I have a weeks’ worth of worn items in the laundry basket and only a handful clean now. This has not been a problem before as I had enough to get from wash to wash (with a couple spare). This must be a classic minimalist issue. Do I go out and buy some more now to get me though this one period I need more (normally my current collection suffices) or do I make a plan to try and launder some items during my trip somewhere?

I figure as soon as I get home I’ll throw in a load of laundry and then I’ll have to pray a bit that they all dry before I have to finish my packing. Either way I am determined not to have to buy more items. Not so much because of my no-buy plan (underwear was always exempt from that anyway) but because I don’t normally need them and it’s a bit silly I think to prepare for things that rarely happen (otherwise you could find yourself collecting loads of items – just in case!).  A trip like this where I know I won’t have access to a washing machine is very rare as most trips we take are to visit family abroad.

Sometimes living minimally forces you to be a bit more pro-active or creative in finding solutions. I have had to think on my feet a couple of times now (and reach out to friends to borrow items every now and then) but I have yet to bump into any real problems so it is possible to get by with less. And let’s not forget the pride when you find a workable solution without having had to run to the shops to get whatever item!

Earthsap Shampoo

I’ve been wanting to make my own shampoo for a while (been waiting for our current one to run out). I was keen to try out the baking soda and vinegar rinse everyone seems to be blogging about but was a bit put off when I read this article about how it can dry out your hair. I think I’ll have to research this a bit more, in the meantime though I did run out of shampoo and had to find an alternative quickly that I also found acceptable (i.e. no toxins). Once again PicknPay helped out there. They have a small selection of chemical free shampoos (admittedly on the bottom shelf and tucked away behind some other stuff).

I bought myself the Earthsap Lavender and Sugar beet shampoo and conditioner (R36.90 and R 37.90 respectively for 250ml). I used the shampoo that very night.

My first experience: It lathered up more than I expected (but less than most off the shelf shampoos) and had a good clean smell. It rinsed off easily but I felt that it did leave my hair fairly tangled afterward (maybe the conditioner will help as a detangling agent). Once dry my hair was soft and quite shiny so points scored there. The next morning though my scalp felt a little itchy. It normally feels like that when I haven’t washed my hair for 2-3 days. My hair still looked fluffy and non-oily so I waited another day before washing again. I had read that there is a transition period when you move from aggressive detergent like main-stream shampoos to more natural versions. Because they don’t strip as much oil off your scalp as shampoos it takes a while for your scalp to adjust and start producing fewer oils. However after 2 months the itchiness hadn’t gone away and DH was also complaining so I went to the Wellness Warehouse and found another shampoo by the same brand but with Tea Tree oil. This one was advertised as specifically against itchy skin.

After a couple of months of using the tea tree we are both happy. The results are about the same as the Lavender but without the itch that was driving us nuts or the super tangles. Another unexpected bonus is how long my hair is now clean for. I have found now that I only need to wash my hair every 5-6 days!

So happy with the shampoo we decided to try their Teatree and Peppermint Body Wash as well and this was a failure. It couldn’t get rid of sweaty armpit smell so DH nixed it. After all when you come out of the shower you don’t still want to reek. Sadly I tried another body wash Treemendus Tea tree Body Wash (produced in Durban) with slightly better results but still not optimal so I guess for body wash we might migrate back to less environmentally friendly options. Getting fresh and clean takes precedence after all. I will continue searching for alternatives.

Cold weather and packing

Monday the rain started. The temperature dropped and all of a sudden Cape Town has migrated into winter. Winter in Cape Town means wet, chilly weather with the occasional hot, sunny day thrown in to keep everyone from getting too gloomy. It also means whales, open fires, cheese with red wine and lots of winter specials at restaurants. Cape Town in winter is usually less touristic which is nice as you feel like everything is back to the locals and all the prices drop.

On the drive home, through the downpour, I realised two things. Firstly, I really need to get new windscreen wipers. Secondly, its time to dig out my long sleeved shirts and tops, my thick jumpers and coat and dust off my boots. My winter gear has mostly escaped the purges as they were packed away well. I started de-cluttering in winter last year but most items survived as I was not so critical when I started. I think quite a bit of my winter stuff might not survive the next cull though. I have decided to give myself a couple of weeks to ease into winter and get used to wearing my winter kit again first. That way I should have a better idea of what I still do wear by the time I want to cut.

My winter gear would have been pulled out of the cupboard this week anyway though. I am going on a work trip to Germany next weekend so will need to pack for that. I want to pack very minimalist. I will be moving around a fair bit on public transport (train mostly) and do not want to lug a huge bag around. The trip will need two distinct clothing groups though. The first half is work-related. We are going to a big expo and meeting many clients/suppliers so dress will be smart with very comfy shoes (trust me on this, if you ever go to an expo you need shoes that love your feet, you will typically be on them all day). Followed by a long weekend with family in Belgium. There I want to wear comfy, casual cloths. I figured a good first step will be to take bottoms and jerseys that would suit both situations and just mix up my tops. Here is my priliminary clothing packing list for a 10 day trip:

3 bottoms – Black, purple and jean pants
2 shoes – Black, flat boots and black moccasins (if cold switch to black trainers)
2(3) work shirts – black knit with white collar and long sleeved white (or long sleeved turquoise or pink striped) + grey thermal or white camisole for underneath
3 fun tops – long sleeved light blue, Pink, black thermal outerwear
3 jerseys: Grey jumper, navy cardi and (purple jumper = doesn’t go with purple pants? Replace with coral which is less warm?)
1 jacket- warm Navy coat or red lighter coat? – Depends on expected temp!
1 Scarf – white/grey
Gloves? Again weather dependent

I plan to put all these items next to each other and see how well they all mix and match, I have some concerns here and there (ie black top with black pants = too dark? Will my purple jumper work with my purple pants etc) so I might changeup a few items as I am determined to make every single combination work. Despite my previous skirt post I also decided to not include one here, mostly because I think it might be too cold and I no longer own warm tights for under a skirt (yes I have lived in a warm climate a while now :) ).

The power of the skirt

Yesterday I wore a skirt at work. It was a conscious decision and the first time I have ever worn a skirt to work. I had to borrow one from a friend that was work appropriate.

 

The reasons behind wearing it were two fold.

Firstly even though I like skirts I never actually wear them and I would like to change that.

More importantly I wanted to fight my natural tendency to keep a low-female profile at work. My work uniform has always been: Dress pants, collared shirt, flats and my hair in a tight bun, usually with minimal jewellery and no make-up. I work in an all-male field (engineering) so didn’t want to be judged as a woman and would consciously down-play my femininity. I kept jewellery, make-up and pretty cloths strictly for the weekends. I would even keep silent when one of my colleagues went on the occasional rant about how bad women were in technical fields (thank goodness he’s been fired but I should have stood up to him more since I was proof that his statements weren’t true).

One of my biggest worries about pregnancy (and it’s almost embarrassing to admit) is how the men in the office and on the floor would react to me. The jig would be up; I can hardly claim not to be a woman now. I worried it would lose me the authority and respect I’ve worked hard to build-up.

And then I read Lean-in by Sheryl Sandberg. It was a big eye-opener. It’s apparently common for woman to dress manlier because being perceived as a woman feels like it has many negative connotations. There are stereotypes of women being less technically astute, capable to work under pressure and be bosses and likeable. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman and if we give in to this thinking ourselves we are not helping the cause. We are conforming instead of competing equally.

So I decided to embrace my female side at work as well. After all who was I kidding, the guys all know I’m a women even if I dress like them. It is definitely harder to be a woman. You have to push more, you have to listen to subtle sexism a lot (let’s face it South Africa is far behind Europe in equality) and you have to face the reality that you won’t always be liked when you take charge.

This book has given me so much to think about above and beyond the work attire. Things such as what I want in life, what I hope to achieve and how to get there. It’s also thrown me in a bit of turmoil. I want to change my life. Deciding to live with intent was part of that but it’s become more than just de-cluttering or buying fewer chemical products. It’s forcing me to re-evaluate my whole life. It’s liberating, humbling and also very scary. On top of those feelings there’s also an almost overwhelming sense of confusion. I don’t know what I want and I don’t know exactly what I want to change either. I am determined to find out though. It is a process, I’ve discovered, consisting more often of small steps in a direction I feel is right rather than a giant leap of faith. Each small step makes me contemplate new dimensions, knowing yourself and your true aspiration is no small task but I hope to get there someday.

In the meantime, small steps, a skirt at work.

Admitting defeat (temporarily)

I spent most of my weekend studying. I am tired, grumpy and stressed, worrying about whether I will manage to be properly prepared by the examination dates.

I have also come to a conclusion: I am doing too much. There is no way I can cope at this level for very long, I am already feeling rundown. It is affecting my work and my relationship. My DH is complaining that we can hardly do anything together as I am always busy or tired. It is making me feel very guilty as well. As much as I hate to admit it, I am not Wonder Woman and I can’t do everything.

Now that I’ve come to this conclusion it was time to undertake some action.

I have decreased my school workload for next semester.  I am dropping from 60% full time student load to 40%. It will take me a few extra years to complete the course but at least I feel it will be manageable. I have also already registered for next semester and paid the fees so I have access to the necessary material and study guides, this means I should be able to start studying a bit earlier (in June already, instead of August).

In the meantime though I have to get through this semester. Exams are in May-June. I’ve just handed in my first set of assignments, next are due start of April. Studying is complicated by the fact that I have a 2 week work trip to Europe in April as well. I don’t think I will be able to study during that time as I will be working during the day and there are client/supplier dinners in the evening. I have set-up a tight schedule and am trying to stick to it. I think the next three months I will just have to push through and maybe let some other things slide, ie no de-cluttering, easy cooking, less cleaning, less time with friends etc. I console myself that at least it’s only for the next three months and I just have to struggle through. Worst case I could always ask to have one course postponed till next exam period but I am hoping it won’t come to that.

So maybe admitting defeat is not a bad thing. I have not given-up on my degree; I’ve merely accepted that I will need more time to complete it. Allowing myself to slow down might even make my degree more achievable. If I had continued at my current pace I would burn out very fast and possibly quit completely. Maybe this is all about learning to be kind to oneself, something I admittedly struggle with. I always push myself hard but every now and then I need to put things in perspective, realise I’m not doing so badly and take a breather.