When Minimalism is forced upon you

I am so close to the end of the pregnancy now! A couple of weeks left (unless baby extends her stay). In any case I’ve found I have fewer and fewer items of clothing that still fit me, even amongst my ‘maternity’ items. I’ve been packing away items as they no longer fit and my cupboard is looking pretty bare right now!

Here is the run-down:

2 x Long pants (black and grey)

3 x ¾ pants (navy, grey, black and white patterned)

4 x loose work shirts (white, light blue, cobalt blue and black with grey polka dots)

4 x other tops (white, grey, navy and black). Of these the navy and black are ok to wear to work.

1 x black dress which I am wearing more and more around the house as it’s very comfy and cool

2 x shoes. My flip flops around the house and my navy loafers for everywhere else.

I’ve excluded jerseys from my list as I haven’t actually worn on in ages; it is super-hot in CT right now!

So that’s 16 items! Even when I started out on minimalism and was super motivated to cut back I never thought I’d get down to such a limited wardrobe! Being pregnant has forced me to this state and with so little time remaining Ive been determined not to go out and buy more clothing so it has been like a mini minimalist experiment. 

What have been my thoughts?

1. 1Getting dressed is very quick and requires almost no thought. Especially as at any given moment about a third of my wardrobe is in the laundry hamper
2.  I also find I quickly miss items – as in – Damn where’s that shirt – oh no it’s probably in the wash! Skipping laundry for a week is no longer really an option
3. My clothing all seems very neutral, I have no bright colours so at least everything matches everything else more or less (I have yet to brave wearing my polka dot shirt with my patterned palazzo pants)
4. I find I am wearing more jewellery and larger statement pieces. I use these pieces to make-up for some of the monotony I find in my outfits. I look ok every day and most people probably don’t notice that I wear mostly the same clothing but I feel like I am wearing the same stuff all the time and it feels boring without some added bling.
5. The 4 work shirts I bought are exactly the same style (only the colour varies). I found it difficult to find cheap maternity shirts ok for work so when I did find one I bought it in 4 colours. They are all in heavy rotation now as I wear almost exclusively these to work. Maybe a different cut would make them feel a bit more varied.

So basically while I can do such a limited wardrobe it doesn’t really make me happy. I must admit though that it wasn’t a very well thought out capsule. I was very limited in my clothing options as most maternity wear here seemed very ugly and/or expensive. I might have been happier if I had a bit more variety in the cuts/types of tops I had. To ensure maximum mix and match ability I was also very limited in colours – basically black, grey, white and blues. I am craving some more colour!

The horror of too much stuff!

Yesterday we had lunch at some friends of ours we haven’t seen in a while. They are currently in the process of emigrating to Australia. He is leaving next Sunday to find them a house there and she has to finalize all the packing in the next three weeks plus look after their two small children (3 and 18 months).

Their house is understandably a bit of a mess right now and they are sorting through all their stuff but I was still horrified! They have a large five bedroom house and absolutely every room feels like it is crammed with stuff. 

A lot of it is children’s stuff (which seems to be stacked up in every room in the house). How many bits of plastic do you really need to keep a child occupied? How do mom and dad feel being constantly surrounded by all this garish plastic bric-a-brac? I think if I had to pack it all up I would first have a serious cry since the task seems monumental then I would call in local charity and have them box-up and take-away every stack I point my finger at. 

                                                            This could never be me!

A move is always a good time to have a serious purge but most of it looks like it will go with them to Australia since the company is paying shipment costs! I compare it to the one meter cubed I brought with me when I left Belgium and it just seems crazy.

Anyway it is their choice I guess but does affirm to me how much my perspective has changed since choosing a more minimalist lifestyle.

Otherwise we are doing ok with our baby list so far. We have almost all the items I thought were essential and I haven’t caved-in to extras yet.

Yesterday Hubby said neighbours wanted to give us a travel cot and he was keen. I said no. We do not have the space to store one (we don’t have a garage or store room). He said we could use it for baby to sleep in, I said yes but we agreed to have her in the bassinet we already have and then transition her straight to a mattress. If we do go visit friends and want to put her down for a nap we can always put her on a mattress there with some pillows around her. So no travel cot. I am happy about that. I feel like our flat is clean, de-cluttered and sober. I find it peaceful this way and want to preserve that peace, something I think will become even more important to me once I am in all the chaos that can be looking after a small child.

Anyway tonight those friends are coming to visit us and I am very curious about their reaction to our flat, maybe they will find it too austere and small. To each his own.

My Essential Baby gear List

So we are into the final stretch, less than six weeks until the due date. With that in mind and now that we have a designated nursery we figured it was time to slowly start collecting all the gear and supplies we would need during the first three months. We decided to focus only on the first few months as other items could always be bought or borrowed as needed and we didn’t want to over clutter the house. So items like feeding chairs and most toys we are ignoring for now.

 

I made a list of essential items I figured we would need straight away. This is my own personal list and not everyone may agree but it is based on quite a bit of research and cross-checking with other peoples lists. I am planning to breast feed initially (so fingers crossed that works out) and we have also decided to use disposable nappies for new-born stage and only graduate into cloth diapering later on (which we will try on a trial basis and see how we get on).

Checklist: Baby Essentials (0-3 months)

Clothing:
[ ] 4-8 undershirts or onesies
[ ] 4-8 one-piece pajamas (or nightgowns until the cord falls off)
[ ] 1-3 rompers
[ ] 4-7 pairs of socks
[ ] 1-2 pairs of scratch mittens – not 100% sure on this one yet
[ ] 1-3 hats

Sleeping:
[ ] Bassinet
[ ] 2-4 fitted water proof sheets
[ ] 4-6 soft, light receiving blankets (can double as burp cloths or nursing covers)
[ ] Sleep sack or swaddle blanket

Diapers:
[ ] Changing table pad
[ ] 6-10 dozen cloth diapers and 6-8 diaper covers, or 2-3 large boxes of disposable newborn-size diapers
[ ] Diaper pail
[ ] Disposable wipes, baby ointment and barrier cream to prevent rash

Bathing:
[ ] Baby soap
[ ] Soft washcloths
[ ] 1 plastic infant tub
[ ] 3 soft hooded towels

Feeding:
[ ] 2 - 4 nursing bras
[ ] Pump (not immediately necessary)
[ ] Milk storage bags (not immediately necessary)
[ ] Breast pads + Nipple cream

Basic care:
[ ] Baby nail clippers or blunt scissors
[ ] Baby thermometer
[ ] Petroleum jelly, surgical spirits and sterile gauze (for circumcision care)
[ ] Bulb syringe or similar for suctioning mucous


Transport:
[ ] Infant or convertible car seat (with optional mirror to see baby while driving)
[ ] sunshades for car windows
[ ] Sling or baby carrier
[ ] Stroller (not immediately necessary)

It may seem like a lot of items but this really is a much pared down list compared to some I’ve seen. We decided to not rush out and buy many items but put out feelers instead. We have been pleasantly surprised at the response, friends, co-workers and even neighbours have pledged us all sorts of stuff. We even have big ticket items like car seat, stroller and bassinet sorted. Most people seem happy to let us sort through their garage for useful items. We have also received free samples of lotions, shampoos and nappies from antenatal classes and various stores. It makes me happy to think we have nearly everything on our list and we haven’t spent anything yet. 

I am starting to think the baby sector might be a bit like the wedding sector – lots of pressure to buy everything new and shiny and make a big production out of the whole affair. Since our wedding is what started me on the path to anti-consumerism and minimalism I am stoked I can apply the same principles before getting sucked into the baby marketing machine (which mostly seems to be about scaring parents – ie you need this product for your child’s safety/development/health etc).

I try to remind myself every now and then that our parents got by without all this stuff and we turned out mostly fine :)

Baby and minimalism

So I am almost 6 months along and Hubby and I are seriously thinking about where to slot baby into our flat. I’ve been very mellow now in the second trimester, most of the panic/stress is gone and I am feeling very relaxed. So relaxed that I am not at all fussed about baby anything.

This has left hubby trying to sort out everything. He is very excited about baby coming and wants to get our flat ready. He’s re-done the bathroom floor, getting quotes for new built-in cupboards and drawing up plans for a partition wall in the lounge so we have a baby room. I wasn’t fussed at first, thinking we could just put baby in lounge and it would be ok but he is adamant a child should have its own room, even if it’s just so you can close the door on them and relax in the rest of your house (since admittedly my idea of baby in lounge would probably mean that we’d need to be quieter in the evenings and tip toe around her (yes we’re expecting a little girl!)).

Some inspiration I've collected for our nursery:

So how does this tie-in with minimalism? We’ve decided that we will not go overboard buying baby items. Since it is our first I appreciate that it may seem naive, after all what do we know. I’ve been reading lots of ‘baby essential’ lists and there are only a few things that most lists agree on. The best piece of advice I’ve seen so far is to only buy stuff as the need arises, ie not stock up on loads of items beforehand.

So here are some of the things I’ve got on my basics list:

1.       Newborn diapers – We haven’t decided on disposables or cloth diapering yet but either way were told the first couple of weeks to stick to only disposables so we will get a small supply (not too many as we were also told baby might grow into a bigger size soon). I am thinking maybe 50?

2.       Stuff to clean baby and umbilical cord – surgical spirits, cotton swaps, baby oil, soft towel and a plastic mat (since we are planning to wash baby in bathroom sink – we haven’t really decided on a sink yet so might have to get a plastic tub if this doesn’t work out)

3.       A Moses basket – a friend is lending us hers with sheets, covers etc so baby’s sleeping arrangements for first couple of months is sorted.

4.       A car seat so we can take baby home safely from hospital – we might look at one that fits on a stroller – Hubby’s parents have said they would like to gift us this.

5.       Some onesies – although we are expecting to get gifted enough that we won’t need to buy these (also getting hand me downs from friends). Baby will be born at height of summer so I figure we don’t need that many cloths.

6.       A couple of light blankets (that can double-up as burp cloths, nursing covers)

7.       Nursing bras, nipple cream and pads

8.       A wrap carrier of some sort, we haven’t really started looking at any though

That’s pretty much it for now. I am planning to try the breast feeding route so we will see how that goes. I have purposefully decided not to buy feeding items until a couple of weeks after baby is born. I’ve read that it is best to try out a couple of different teats etc with baby before buying a set of plastic bottles etc. Same goes for breast pumps, I have no idea what will work for me but have heard that the hospital has a selection so I can try out some there and decide later on which system I prefer.

We have also decided not to buy any toys. I am sure we will get gifted some but I figure babies don’t need much to be entertained. I have seen them staring at plain walls and finding that exciting enough. All I have is an old stuffed rabbit (which I’ve had for more than 10 years, it survived the purges as I wanted to keep it for my first born. I had a stuffed bunny as a baby and like the idea that my child will as well, even if it’s not the same one). It is baby safe (ie no buttons, zips, sharp or loose bits) and I will give it a wash beforehand.

And that’s pretty much it for now. We haven’t bought anything yet though. The plan is to wait until after I’ve seen what my mother and mother in law send us. Both have already bought items which we are expecting to receive over the Christmas holidays. We are also waiting to see what we get as hand me downs from friends. Worst case DH will have to go and pick up any necessities while I am at the hospital (standard for a natural birth here is 3 days in hospital). We are avoiding any and all baby shops like the plague! I have heard from friends that the larger baby warehouse type of places are very overwhelming and there is such a large selection of items that it becomes very difficult to distinguish between necessities and needless items. 

Lastly we have decided to fore go the crib. We have a basket for the first couple of months. Our neighbor will let us have her old traveling cot which we will use afterwards and whenever we go out and when that gets too small baby will migrate straight to a mattress on the floor. We are investing in a new memory foam mattress for ourselves (mostly since I’ve been struggling more and more to get comfy at night, my hips are on fire by the morning!) so our old mattress is available for baby room. Since it’s a double I figure I can sleep next to baby during evening feeds or when she’s being particularly difficult.

As mentioned before though, I realize as first time parents we probably have a lot to learn and might not be able to implement all our plans so I will post about how things go as we go along :)