Changing body shape and my maternity capsule

Oh my gosh I feel like I have completely ballooned recently! I went from having a tiny bump which I was happily still wearing most of my cloths with to something that I feel resembles a blimp (ok DH feels I am overreacting here but it’s hard to accept the extra weight when I’ve always had the fortune to be very slim).

I know it’s all for a good reason etc but it is strange to realise how much your body is actually changing in all sorts of unexpected ways. My body almost feels like a stranger to me and I am finding the best way to take it in is to just trust that it knows what it’s doing and hope I can get it back afterwards.

In the meantime losing touch with my body has not been helped by the fact that I felt like none of my cloths fit my new shape. Everything was starting to pull somewhere (if not over the bump, then over the breasts). Some of my shoes are getting too tight, causing what I’ve despairingly started referring to as muffin top feet. Walking around with your pants undone also loses its charm after a while (the yay I can still wear these, kind of, feeling is lost).

So... I bit the bullet this weekend and went out with the plan to buy myself a small maternity capsule. I have read so much about capsules so I figured I could give it a go and find myself enough clothing to last until after baby. Here were my criteria:

1.       Stick to neutral tones: I choose White, Navy and Grey. I already had some looser pants in black and stone so I tried to make sure any items bought now would match these pants. The light blue maternity top I bought last month also works with these colours.

2.       Classic lines, solid colours or subtle pattern. Nothing too fashion forward

3.       Pick items that are still loose enough to allow for more growth around belly and bust.

4.       I would need about 4 work appropriate tops and wanted a couple of looser T-shirts. I also wanted a few tank tops for layering or wearing on their own in the weekend (this meant that the straps on the tanks have to be wide enough to cover my bra straps and not gap at the sides). The tanks also have to be quite long in order to extend over belly.

I then went shopping. Since I didn’t want to spend a fortune on these items (since I don’t expect to wear them that long) I went to Mr Price again and Cotton On.

So here is my maternity capsule, Items marked with a star are new (I will summarize and price these in my November purchases round-up). I also bought 3 tank tops (two in white and 1 grey that I did not include in the pictures

The above are all work appropriate. There are 13 clothing items. I am also happy that most of it is mix and match-able giving me more outfits options. There are only a few items I would not possibly mix, for example the longer loose black Palazzo style pants doesn’t really go with the brighter, patterned tops. I also still have some tighter T shirts, a couple of pairs of shorts and a pair of yoga pants but I didn’t include these as they’ve pretty much been relegated to only around the house wear. I also didn’t include my cardigans and jackets since most I can still wear (only open).

The last step before I put all these new items in my wardrobe was to take everything out of my cupboard and pack away anything that didn’t really fit me anymore. All my cloths now fit on two shelves but that is ok since at least I know now that no matter what I pull out it will fit me. All in all, I am much happier with the way I look now and am pleased with the items I bought.

Baby and minimalism

So I am almost 6 months along and Hubby and I are seriously thinking about where to slot baby into our flat. I’ve been very mellow now in the second trimester, most of the panic/stress is gone and I am feeling very relaxed. So relaxed that I am not at all fussed about baby anything.

This has left hubby trying to sort out everything. He is very excited about baby coming and wants to get our flat ready. He’s re-done the bathroom floor, getting quotes for new built-in cupboards and drawing up plans for a partition wall in the lounge so we have a baby room. I wasn’t fussed at first, thinking we could just put baby in lounge and it would be ok but he is adamant a child should have its own room, even if it’s just so you can close the door on them and relax in the rest of your house (since admittedly my idea of baby in lounge would probably mean that we’d need to be quieter in the evenings and tip toe around her (yes we’re expecting a little girl!)).

Some inspiration I've collected for our nursery:

So how does this tie-in with minimalism? We’ve decided that we will not go overboard buying baby items. Since it is our first I appreciate that it may seem naive, after all what do we know. I’ve been reading lots of ‘baby essential’ lists and there are only a few things that most lists agree on. The best piece of advice I’ve seen so far is to only buy stuff as the need arises, ie not stock up on loads of items beforehand.

So here are some of the things I’ve got on my basics list:

1.       Newborn diapers – We haven’t decided on disposables or cloth diapering yet but either way were told the first couple of weeks to stick to only disposables so we will get a small supply (not too many as we were also told baby might grow into a bigger size soon). I am thinking maybe 50?

2.       Stuff to clean baby and umbilical cord – surgical spirits, cotton swaps, baby oil, soft towel and a plastic mat (since we are planning to wash baby in bathroom sink – we haven’t really decided on a sink yet so might have to get a plastic tub if this doesn’t work out)

3.       A Moses basket – a friend is lending us hers with sheets, covers etc so baby’s sleeping arrangements for first couple of months is sorted.

4.       A car seat so we can take baby home safely from hospital – we might look at one that fits on a stroller – Hubby’s parents have said they would like to gift us this.

5.       Some onesies – although we are expecting to get gifted enough that we won’t need to buy these (also getting hand me downs from friends). Baby will be born at height of summer so I figure we don’t need that many cloths.

6.       A couple of light blankets (that can double-up as burp cloths, nursing covers)

7.       Nursing bras, nipple cream and pads

8.       A wrap carrier of some sort, we haven’t really started looking at any though

That’s pretty much it for now. I am planning to try the breast feeding route so we will see how that goes. I have purposefully decided not to buy feeding items until a couple of weeks after baby is born. I’ve read that it is best to try out a couple of different teats etc with baby before buying a set of plastic bottles etc. Same goes for breast pumps, I have no idea what will work for me but have heard that the hospital has a selection so I can try out some there and decide later on which system I prefer.

We have also decided not to buy any toys. I am sure we will get gifted some but I figure babies don’t need much to be entertained. I have seen them staring at plain walls and finding that exciting enough. All I have is an old stuffed rabbit (which I’ve had for more than 10 years, it survived the purges as I wanted to keep it for my first born. I had a stuffed bunny as a baby and like the idea that my child will as well, even if it’s not the same one). It is baby safe (ie no buttons, zips, sharp or loose bits) and I will give it a wash beforehand.

And that’s pretty much it for now. We haven’t bought anything yet though. The plan is to wait until after I’ve seen what my mother and mother in law send us. Both have already bought items which we are expecting to receive over the Christmas holidays. We are also waiting to see what we get as hand me downs from friends. Worst case DH will have to go and pick up any necessities while I am at the hospital (standard for a natural birth here is 3 days in hospital). We are avoiding any and all baby shops like the plague! I have heard from friends that the larger baby warehouse type of places are very overwhelming and there is such a large selection of items that it becomes very difficult to distinguish between necessities and needless items. 

Lastly we have decided to fore go the crib. We have a basket for the first couple of months. Our neighbor will let us have her old traveling cot which we will use afterwards and whenever we go out and when that gets too small baby will migrate straight to a mattress on the floor. We are investing in a new memory foam mattress for ourselves (mostly since I’ve been struggling more and more to get comfy at night, my hips are on fire by the morning!) so our old mattress is available for baby room. Since it’s a double I figure I can sleep next to baby during evening feeds or when she’s being particularly difficult.

As mentioned before though, I realize as first time parents we probably have a lot to learn and might not be able to implement all our plans so I will post about how things go as we go along :)

Nesting?

Whew, the week has been busy and the next ones will only get more so!

We have been thinking hard about how to make our flat work once we have a baby (since we came to the conclusion we really couldn’t afford a house in a neighbourhood that we loved).

It’s taken some planning and lots of 3D sketches but we have decided on a new layout that we like and that will afford us the ability to add an extra bedroom. Now it means we have to prepare plans, organize materials and coordinate a few different crafts men and builders.

To limit the scope of the work somewhat and give us somewhere to store our stuff we have decided to leave the main bedroom alone. This means that by the time the builders start work on the 1^st of December I have to have all items in the house safely stored away in the bedroom. I am so grateful I purged quite a bit last year! Moving everything I am sure will give me a second opportunity to toss stuff that got missed in the initial sweep.

At the same time we will need to move out of the flat for the three weeks of work. This means I have to pack any necessities we might need during that time as I am hoping to seal the bedroom door (against dust) and therefore will have no access to anything until the builders leave. It also means a lot of small details to be organized, ie where will I be staying (hubby is going skiing in France during the work! Lucky him), organizing a cattery to look after our kitty for a while, house keys for builders etc. I am just grateful that hubby has organized with a work colleague around the corner to check in with the workers every other day and follow-up on their work. That takes a lot of responsibility off me (who will be well into my third trimester by then!). All I have to do is the prep clearing away, move out for three weeks and then I get to show up again when everything has been done. Knowing hubby’s colleague he will be ace enough to organize a proper clean of the flat as well before we move back in. 

Ah, but I have one extra responsibility. I am a lighting designer and I work at a factory where we make light fittings so it seemed only fitting to do all the lighting in theflat myself. I’ve been pinning my favourite types and will update everyone soon. I have two major pieces to work on – the dining room lighting and the kitchen lighting and a couple of smaller items – bathroom and passage lighting as well as an LED cove lighting around the new partition wall. Some of the existing lights also have to be re-wired as switch positions are changing. So some work yes but hopefully mostly creative work. I will attempt to keep prices as low as possible and DIY where I can.

October purchases

So here is my round-up of purchases in October. This month I needed a maternity top. Something that I could wear to work since at the moment I am finding that one by one my work shirts are no longer fitting properly and I really should consider packing away some shirts and tops this weekend until after baby comes (and maybe even a bit longer as some won’t work for nursing either).

I’ve been avoiding doing this as I really like some of these tops and will be a bit sad to not be able to wear them for the next 9 months or so. I guess it has to happen though as they are just taking up space on my shelves and each time I see them I am reminded of the fact that I can’t wear them anymore.

Currently for work I have 2 shirts that sort of work (fit over bump but not really that flattering). I also have two tops that work. In total I thus have 4 tops I could wear to work, not that much when I consider I have a week and a half washing cycle I have to bridge and summer is coming so tops need more frequent washing (I try to only wash cloths when they are actually dirty or sweaty). I had another white work shirt that was fantastic but I accidently left it at a hotel when we were away for a weekend. They will mail it back to me but with our postal service on strike I have no idea when I will get it back!

So I needed a work appropriate shirt. Given how few cloths I have that work for my figure now it had to be relaxed enough to work as a casual top as well.

1. Henley top in Light blue. Mr Price R79.95 (it was on sale!)

So far I’ve loved this top! The fabric is kind of thin (I guess that explains why it was so cheap) but it’s comfy and very light to wear. With a camisole underneath I can wear it everywhere. It is also pretty long with an elasticated bit on the bottom so I can pull it very low and it will stay put (which hides the fact that most of my pants don’t actually button up anymore). They only had the light blue when I went which was great since I like the blue and it suits me well (and at the time I hadn’t misplaced my white shirt yet). In fact this top is so great for me now I am thinking about going out and buying a few more in different colours (they also have it in white and coral). That way I can pack away the two current shirts I have that are only so-so.

Getting bigger and not fitting into most of my clothing has given my self-confidence a knock though. I know it’s all for a good reason and not that I am getting fat but it is still hard to not feel a bit disappointed. A friend has suggested starting to wear my hubby’s shirts but that just feels like giving up and will make me feel even worse about myself I think. So I think there might be another maternity top purchase or two in November. Maybe a white top and something pretty in a pastel pink.

September Purchases

With starting to be able to buy stuff again, I said I would keep track of everything coming in. Here are my August purchases.

I almost made it all the way through September without buying anything. Almost. Then baby decided to assert itself and hello belly! Finally admitting that I was going to need some pants with a bit more give I went and purchased the following two pairs. Note pictures aren’t the exact ones I bought but very similar:

1. Long black patterned palazzo pants R249 (Cotton On)
   OMG these were the comfiest pants when I put them on! After struggling with my own pants for a few weeks these felt like such a release. The fabric is soft and stretchy. The pattern is muted enough to be ok for work. The waist band can sit under and over my bump and has a drawstring so I can tighten it if I am worried about it falling down. It is also very light and cool despite being a dark colour so will be perfect for the coming summer.
   

   

   
   
2. ¾ black and white patterned track pants R200 (Cotton On). More fun, and stylish.  Also soft fabric and very stretchy waistband. The picture shows them a bit long. With the elastic on the bottom of the legs I prefer to scrunch these up a bit, till just under the knee.
   

   

Neither of these are maternity pants and I am hoping that I will get lots of wear out of them even after baby arrives. I did look for pants in grey and navy as I prefer these neutrals to black but unfortunately most items on offer were black and I was getting a bit desperate for more comfy pants. Note to self: This is normally not how to shop! The looser fit of the pants also meant that non-black colours resembled pyjamas too much for my taste. I guess that’s the one advantage of black it does look a bit more formal. I have one fitted black top that works beautifully with my bump and both these pairs of pants so it looks like I will be keeping some black in my wardrobe for a little while still. I think after the pregnancy the black palazzo pants might actually be relegated to pyjamas/lounge wear though.

One other item that I have been thinking about purchasing lately is a new bra as well. I am trying to put it off as long as possible but it looks like my belly isn’t the only thing changing! Oh and still looking for an elasticated belt as most maternity sites say it is good to belt under bust so you still have some figure. I haven’t found anything yet though and it looks like elastic belts just aren’t in right now (except for those with big shiny metal inserts).

And the bump begins ...

Silly me for being so chuffed in my last post that I was not showing yet. This phase is definitely over. I have had to admit that even though I can still, sort of, get away with the old hair tie trick on my jeans, they are just not comfy anymore.

So this weekend, out of necessity, I went shopping. I was looking for big pants (hubby gets unset when I say fat pants). Pants that would sit comfortably around my expanding waistline and would be light enough to last all through the coming summer months.

At Cotton On I hit Jackpot! Love the fact that skinny jeans seem to be out and looser, track suit pant styles seem to be in. These types of pants love my bump. I put on a pair in the changing room and it was immediately so much more comfy than the jeans I was still wearing. So I folded and bought 2 pairs of pants. One is a longer palazzo type in a patterned black print. The pattern is fairly classic so should be almost as re-mixable as solid colour. The second pair is a more fun style. It’s a ¾ track pant with elastic around the bottom so it sits close to the calf and then is baggy up to the waist. It is also patterned, black and white chevron stripes. Oh and another trend that is a happy coincidence for me; a dropped crotch is also in and accepted! This is fortunate as when I tuck pants under my bump the crotch area is lowered and I can either leave it as is or I have to roll-up the elasticated top until crotch area sits in sort-of the right place.

I know I said I wasn’t going to wear black anymore but it seemed all the options were either solid black or patterned. That’s why I went with patterned pants, I thought they would look less sever then sold black.

All in all I spent R449 for both. I am hoping that these two pairs plus the third my hubby bought me (in a dove grey tone) will last me all through the pregnancy.

In fact, I also decided that I was going to stop hiding the bump at work as I was getting annoyed at the shapeless shirts I was wearing (normally I tuck these in and then they are pretty good). So I am now wearing my grey elastic linen pants with a fitted pretty black top (which shows my bump off). I decided to add my black wedge heels to reflect the black of the top and to add a bit more polish so I don’t feel fat but pretty and pregnant.  Since feeling a bit bigger I have also started taking more care with my make-up, hair and jewellery as it helps me feel confident and self-secure despite my growing waistline. It is the first time though that it will be clear to most of my co-workers that I am pregnant so I am a bit apprehensive about that. We’ll see how it goes, at least I feel more comfortable than I have the last couple of weeks.

No TV thanks

So I just filled-in a survey for UNISA (University of SA). They are a long distance learning centre so often used by people who are working full or part-time, such as me.

Anyway they are trying to profile their students better in order to know who they are and what needs they have. One of the survey sections was about socio-economic group. It gave a list of devices/perks and you had to check whether you had said item or not. It ranged from a swimming pool and Dstv (our local satellite TV provider) all the way down to a flush toilet and running water. It felt strange to me that you would judge a person’s socio economic position like this. What would they think of me? My husband and I are both earning a decent income and with no dependents yet we do well (compared to most people in SA). We, however, do not own a TV, a tumble dryer, smartphone, and a couple of other items listed at the higher end. Does the absence of these items automatically drop us into a lower socio-economic group? Or maybe the fact that we have consciously cut these items means that we are capable of living according to a higher standard otherwise, ie most items we don’t own are fairly pricey and the Dstv for instance is a monthly expense of about R800.

Then I wondered, if it is that abnormal for us not to own these items? Is moving up the economic ladder seen as an automatic accumulation of items? Perhaps ending with a 10 bedroom McMansion and a large pool?

My Mcmansion - Um, no thanks

Clearly based on this survey it is. I resent the fact that it is assumed that as soon as you are capable you will invest in a smart phone or a swimming pool. Being well-off shouldn’t be about these items, I feel it is more about being able to provide yourself and loved ones with decent health care, schooling and security. Investing in happiness through self-actualisation, holidays and time spent together (and actually conversing, not parked on the couch).

Sometimes I reflect how lucky we are not to be swept up in this mainstream material world. Lucky that we judge our success not on the things we own but on the things we are capable of doing. I love my hubby, he loves me, we are looking forward to making it three and that is more than enough.