The power of the skirt

Yesterday I wore a skirt at work. It was a conscious decision and the first time I have ever worn a skirt to work. I had to borrow one from a friend that was work appropriate.

 

The reasons behind wearing it were two fold.

Firstly even though I like skirts I never actually wear them and I would like to change that.

More importantly I wanted to fight my natural tendency to keep a low-female profile at work. My work uniform has always been: Dress pants, collared shirt, flats and my hair in a tight bun, usually with minimal jewellery and no make-up. I work in an all-male field (engineering) so didn’t want to be judged as a woman and would consciously down-play my femininity. I kept jewellery, make-up and pretty cloths strictly for the weekends. I would even keep silent when one of my colleagues went on the occasional rant about how bad women were in technical fields (thank goodness he’s been fired but I should have stood up to him more since I was proof that his statements weren’t true).

One of my biggest worries about pregnancy (and it’s almost embarrassing to admit) is how the men in the office and on the floor would react to me. The jig would be up; I can hardly claim not to be a woman now. I worried it would lose me the authority and respect I’ve worked hard to build-up.

And then I read Lean-in by Sheryl Sandberg. It was a big eye-opener. It’s apparently common for woman to dress manlier because being perceived as a woman feels like it has many negative connotations. There are stereotypes of women being less technically astute, capable to work under pressure and be bosses and likeable. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman and if we give in to this thinking ourselves we are not helping the cause. We are conforming instead of competing equally.

So I decided to embrace my female side at work as well. After all who was I kidding, the guys all know I’m a women even if I dress like them. It is definitely harder to be a woman. You have to push more, you have to listen to subtle sexism a lot (let’s face it South Africa is far behind Europe in equality) and you have to face the reality that you won’t always be liked when you take charge.

This book has given me so much to think about above and beyond the work attire. Things such as what I want in life, what I hope to achieve and how to get there. It’s also thrown me in a bit of turmoil. I want to change my life. Deciding to live with intent was part of that but it’s become more than just de-cluttering or buying fewer chemical products. It’s forcing me to re-evaluate my whole life. It’s liberating, humbling and also very scary. On top of those feelings there’s also an almost overwhelming sense of confusion. I don’t know what I want and I don’t know exactly what I want to change either. I am determined to find out though. It is a process, I’ve discovered, consisting more often of small steps in a direction I feel is right rather than a giant leap of faith. Each small step makes me contemplate new dimensions, knowing yourself and your true aspiration is no small task but I hope to get there someday.

In the meantime, small steps, a skirt at work.