Day 9

I took the night off yesterday as I had some other things I wanted to do. After all this whole process is about freeing up more time to do the things you enjoy so I shouldn’t forget about them now. I played squash with a friend and did some coursework after that. Freeing up time will hopefully help towards my studies as well. Anyone who has done any kind of studies while working full-time can tell you it’s exhausting! It’s hard to come home after a full day and start studying as well. I am just really happy my course contains a few small assignments due at regular intervals otherwise I’d probably let it all stack up until right before the actual exam and have a major panic.

Anyway I did continue reading up about minimalism. I find it important to stay motivated since it’s a bit overwhelming. Our bedroom is finished which I am so proud of. The next room I want to tackle is our bathroom. Another reason for tackling this is because of all the toxins I’ve read about, hiding in your products. Now it’s not just about getting rid of junk but about getting rid of harmful products as well.

The Skin Deep Database has a list of over 66 000 cosmetics and ranks them according to the harmfulness of the chemicals they contain, ie 0 = no known harmful effects and 10 = very toxic, avoid. I think I will gather up every product in the bathroom tonight and try to look them up in the database one by one. This will takes ages! I don’t think I will manage them all in one sitting. Hoping I wouldn’t find any that come up too high!

Day 8 - the story of stuff and Kelloggs

I watched a short clip about the consumption and where our goods come from and go: The story of stuff

It was very informative and together with an article on consumption (The Gospel of Consumerism) got me thinking more again.

A large part of our lives is involved in the consumption of goods. It seems to be a never ending cycle, you can hardly get something home before you’re thinking on the next piece you need.

We work more so we can buy more stuff. More stuff that we have been told we need, that we are unhappy about not having, not realising that keeping us unhappy is how large corporations stay in power. In the article above they talked about the old Kellogg factory where workers had a 6 hour day instead of an 8 hour. How workers were happier and wanted to keep the system in place even after new management wanted to move to an 8 hour shift. One of the reasons the workers wanted to keep shorter shifts was because shorter hours meant more people were employed to keep the company going. In the time of the Great Depression is that not fantastic? Rather than earn more personally you would worry about whether your neighbour had a job as well.  It’s sad that we don’t have this kind of mentality around today. There is enough work, we just need to share it out more, give jobs to the unemployed and let those who are working have a bit more time off. With time off we can add to our community and personal relationships.

It all sounds amazing. I would like to get there too. To live a life less encumbered by stuff, more compassionate to the people around you and in general happier. Is that not something fantastic to strive to?

Day 7

I spent Saturday tidying up again. My boy actually also spontaneously decided to go through his own wardrobe so I was stoked about that. We filled up a few boxes with stuff to donate which he will drop off there this Friday (they were closed over the weekend). We also brought a car load of junk to the recycling depot. We had lots of cardboard and paper to toss.

I will try and keep doing the recycling thing, at least for paper and glass. The depot is quite close to where I work so really no excuse.

So the bedroom is completely finished, or at least the first sweep. I might go back and toss some more stuff in a few weeks’ time depending on how this minimalist thing takes hold. An added plus, now that everything is so clear and has its place I’ve been keeping it that way. It’s quick to fold away some cloths or make the bed now that there’s not so much stuff around.

Sunday was more relaxed and we went to the movies last night. The cinema is at the water front, inside a late night shopping mall. Walking from the parking lot to the cinema was a bit rough. It was hard not to look at the store windows and all the pretty cloths! My boy did not help. He’s finding this all a bit amusing now and was teasing me about things he saw in the windows. Mrgh! I will need to avoid the shops for a bit. Not going out and buying new stuff will be the hardest part of this challenge.

Day 4

So I am trying to simplify my life. How to tell people? Do I even need to tell people? It’s been less than a week now and I haven’t told anyone except my partner and a colleague at work. I am keeping a low-profile on this. I am slightly worried about what they will think (which everyone always says you shouldn’t but it’s actually very hard). At dinner last night with friends I just said I’m having a bit of a clean. Dinner also meant a night off from the de-cluttering at home.

I was thinking to give myself a bit more time to adapt and focus on what my goals are so that when people ask why I can be confident enough to keep going. It’s also a bit of a struggle convincing my partner. He is hoping this is a phase and will wear off. He doesn’t want to downsize and so far I’ve not touched any of his stuff. I figure he needs more time to adjust. I am hoping he will come around though, he is the one who tends to want new, ‘better’ stuff all the time.

We only recently decided to stay in our one-bed flat another 3 years after a depressing house hunt. We couldn’t afford the stuff on our must have list (my boy wants a 3 bed house with a large garden and pool). Anything remotely in our budget meant moving far out of town to the suburbs. City planning being the way it is in Cape Town the suburbs usually means miles from anything such as supermarket, gym or cafes. I don’t want to have to get in my car every time I want to leave the house! I love that we have a little cafe down the road, we have brunch there practically every Sunday and it’s nice to know the owners and the waiters and see other locals. I often see young couples with babies in our hood walking around, in the suburbs people tend to live behind their big fences and I don’t want that. It will be hard to convince my boy though. He’s the spender and I’m the saver (well except for shoes as previously mentioned). Think best to leave him alone for a while and continue my own journey.

Day 3

Last night was easier than the day before. I was less strict with myself. Whereas with my shoes I’d been ruthless (think I got rid of over half) I was more lenient on clothing. I started by getting rid of everything that was damaged, discoloured or I hadn’t worn in a long time. So I reckon about 15-20%.

I figured I can’t be a minimalist overnight, it will take time for my mind-set to change and in the meantime I don’t have to put so much pressure on myself. Putting pressure on myself is what I used to do and has caused numerous problems in my life. I moved abroad to study at 18 and was determined to prove I could cope and do everything by myself. I pushed myself so hard that I got very sick at the end of first year and lost about 10% body mass (which for me is terrible since I am already quite slim). Second year I was hospitalised twice, once for a major panic attack and another time for a slipped disc which meant I couldn’t move for almost a week. I’d been pushing against the pain for weeks prior instead of slowing down so had just exacerbated the whole thing. Madness!

It’s all meant that I recognise now that I am an obsessive perfectionist, that I think relying on others shows weakness and that I overthink things. Once I knew that, it was important for me to recognise when I start to fall into these old patterns and remember to take a step back. I’ve changed a lot in the past few years, I’ve mellowed out and am quicker to call family and friends when I’m not doing ok. My life is already moving in the right direction and I am hoping a simpler lifestyle will aid the transition as well.

But I have to remind myself that it’s not a race, I will not get points for doing this quickly or more extremely.  This is a process and I will hopefully learn and maybe once I’ve gone through the flat I can always come back and re-evaluate the things still left. I need to be kinder to myself.

Day 2

After reading some more inspirational articles yesterday afternoon since, well, I needed them to keep going, I tackled my shoe collection yesterday.

I love shoes, shoes are my go-to when I’m feeling down. After things imploded on my previous relationship I found the perfect relationship replacement trifecta; shoes, handbags and chocolate. While this definitely helped in the short run it has left me with a rather large collection. I have some very pretty shoes, unfortunately though some are just not wearable. I bought a few pairs in the wrong size or that are super uncomfortable. I am very tall so most of my heels are also underused. There is a large disparity in my shoe collection as well. Some pairs I’ve had for almost 10 years and worn only a couple of times, then there is one that I’ve worn to shreds. My finance kept saying I should throw them out especially once I had actually worn a hole right though which my little toe could stick out of. So yes those went in the bin yesterday.

It was once again depressing to realise how many I had been so excited about and then had gone into the closet never to see the light of day again. I removed about half of my shoes, those worn to bits went in the bin, those in good shape I will take pictures of and see if I can sell a few or gift them to friends. If not there’s a charity shop very close by that should be happy. It will be a bit sad to see them go though, a lot of them represent different phases in my life or aspirations I had, for ie a very smart work pair that Id bought as a student when I had visions of being a savy business woman. Some sky high cage heels that were my ’on the prowl’ shoes. Some tekkies in a bright yellow I was thinking to paint but never got around to.

I’ll need to get some boxes from work and line them up in the lounge until I can get everything out the door.

Feelings: Still depressed and sad about seeing things go. Liking the look of the emptier cupboards, wondering if I might have to get rid of some cupboards since I am actually feeling the need to fill them all again. Decided not to be too harsh on myself, set a 20% reduction as goal. I can always go through it all again once I’m more comfortable. Lamenting the fact that there is no easy way to get rid of stuff. Garage sales are not done in SA, markets are rare and you first need to pay for a spot. Selling every item separately online seems a mission and I don’t want people coming by all the time. A friend suggested selling as a job lot. Will think about that.

Day 1

So how did my first night go?

I got home very motivated and tackled a smaller cupboard in the bedroom, only 6 drawers.

Top two socks and knickers, lower down handbags, hair dryers and an assorted collection of random stuff, receipts, coins, some LED components (I work in lighting) and so on.

It took me quite a while to trawl through but now 5 out of the 6 are emptier and my socks are looking a bit lonely in one corner of the drawer (surprising how many had holes in them or were threadbare). I even managed to empty one drawer completely. The last drawer is where I keep all my documents so figured that would be a whole separate chore.

The only thing in there that wasn’t mine was a laptop belonging to Ant (my fiancé).  He hasn’t used it in almost 4 years and it doesn’t work. I asked him if I could chuck it out and he said no because he wants to try and get the hard drive out first. Really? Ant is not the kind of guy to ever get around to doing that but ok I figured, he’s not ready to join me on this crusade so I tucked the laptop in the bottom drawer of his bedside cabinet thinking at least it’s no longer in my zone.

Overall; It was hard going, took longer than expected and didn’t really leave me with a buzz. I feel faintly depressed about it, not because I am sad to see things go but because I expected to feel better about it. The only other feeling I had was a desire to go buy new socks. So all in all not a success.

I think I will maybe take smaller steps from now on. Tonight maybe only 2 drawers in the cupboard next to the one I did last night. It will take me ages to get through everything though. I immigrated here 3 years ago with 1m3 of stuff so I am a bit surprised at how much stuff I have collected again in such a short space of time.

Minimalism?

I’ve been thinking a lot recently on the value of items and the constant drive to get new/better stuff. Everything seems to be about buying new stuff all the time and it’s almost overwhelming to battle this constant push. Maybe it’s because we are getting married in October that I am feeling it extra hard at the moment. The wedding industry is huge and aggressive. It’s all about results and grandeur. Everyone is constantly trying to convince you that certain items that I had never even considered before getting engaged are absolutely necessary and cannot be missed or else your wedding would be a disaster. As if deciding to be with someone you love could ever be a disaster (I mean stuff on the day like do you really need a 5-tier cake?)

Anyway I did some research online and found there is quite a large movement at the moment for a more simple lifestyle and evaluating what really makes you happy in life. I am not talking about the minimalist extremists who advocate living with a single back pack and less than 100 items. I am talking about the moderates, those who realise that we shouldn’t let our stuff or lack thereof define us. Those who advocate appreciation of people, hobbies and self-fulfilment before the next quick-fix shopping spree. (I love theminimalistmom.com)

I am keen to give this a try, in a lasting kind of way. Since I know it will be hard (if it’s been too long since my last shopping spree I actually start dreaming about one and can at any given moment list more stuff I feel I absolutely need) I will attempt this in small steps.

I would love to over time get my partner along as well. His occasional utterances of how we have enough money and should totally go get new mountain bikes/coffee machine/computer etc is probably the second reason I’ve been stressed recently and wish to change my lifestyle. As the financially aware member of this family I know we are not as well off as my fiancé seems to think we are, especially since we have some large costs coming up (wedding!).

Anyway, Baby steps.

Here’s my current plan:

Spend next few months before wedding de-cluttering house. It’s in 3 months so that will hopefully be enough time. Plan of attack is room by room (maybe even cupboard by cupboard). I will start with my stuff to give my fiancé time to adjust before I tackle communal goods (ie kitchen paraphernalia)

Donating most stuff to a charity shop close by. I have learnt to check with friends if they want anything first though.  If there are some more expensive pieces I will try and sell them on Gumtree (SAs version of Ebay).

Not buying new clothing for at least 12 months. I think this will be most difficult as I am a bit of a shop-a-holic.

Trying a 30 day list for other purchases: If you want to buy something write it down with the date, if 30 days later you still want it then you can buy it.

This blog is basically a way to keep myself motivated.